Dark Nexus
by The Necroposter
Summary: The Galaxy is still reeling from the war awhen a strange transmission arrives from the Unknown Regions: those calling themselves the real heirs of the Jedi demand to be part of the new galactic government. Rey goes to investigate. She has designs of her own, though: to bring back Ben Solo and return to him the life she feels he has been denied.


**Disclaimer and A/N: I do not own Star Wars. No copyright infringement is intended. Please drop me a line if I forget to point out a reference to another work/franchise that isn't mine. While I do feel the ending of the sequel trilogy was good and made sense, I still believe there's a way to continue the story in an entertaining manner, so that's what I'm attempting here. Feedback is, as always, appreciated.  
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**How is the Galaxy supposed to recover from the losses of the war?** How can the Republic recover from destruction on such a large scale? How can anyone? When the Old Republic made way for the Empire, things mostly went on as they had before, really. War had been raging throughout the systems for years, anyway. During Palpatine's reign, one had to choose one's words with great care, keep one's head down. But there was a central government that took care of things, wasn't there? A backbone holding everything else in place. Tides shifted again as the Rebellion broke out full force. There was once again war, once again widespread destruction leaving countless civilian deaths in its wake. This was followed by the fall of the Empire, then the founding of the New Republic. So, a centralised government was replaced by a federal one, but at least there was a government – people in charge of keeping the rule of law and such. However, since that was too good to be true, the First Order started gaining traction, building up until yet another war broke out.

Those who lived through the Clone Wars, the Empire, the Rebellion, they all would shrug and say, _it's the same thing that's been happening over and over again for so long. It all happened before. It will all happen again…and still, we persist_.

This time, though, it's different.

Obliterated planets. Billions upon billions of dead. The destruction of countless resources.

The death of the Republic.

Yes, the Sith have finally been vanquished, but this isn't like it was when the Empire fell. The old structures upon which the Republic was rebuilt no longer exist. In fact, nobody is in charge anymore. There's no relying on the same old, same old, because that has ceased to be an option when the First Order blew up the Republic.

Now, the many worlds of the Core, the Mid Rim and the Outer Rim must find their place in this violently rearranged Galaxy. The immense void that was created by this last war against the Dark Side of the Force must be filled, as life hates imbalance. How, though? How? Is it even possible?

There's a metaphor in there, somewhere.

Rey has never been particularly good at getting lost in existential angst or even in worries of the future. Then again, she never had to. Most of her life, she was busy just surviving from day to day, waiting for a family that was never going to come back. Then, she was thrust into an intergalactic conflict that led her to places she never imagined possible – including the truth. During most of that time, she fought against her worst impulses, did what she believed was right, and followed the same tactic she had during her youth on Jakku: she survived on a daily basis. Yes, there were goals beyond that, but she always focussed on hitting those immediate targets: bringing BB-8 to the Resistance base; finding Luke Skywalker; saving Ben Solo; becoming a Jedi; destroying Palpatine. She never wasted any time pondering the long term. Why should she? That only led to further ruminations, which might start weighing so much, it threatened to drown her. Better not to risk that. Besides, there was always something to do, wasn't there, during those days? Always another task to focus on, another chore to take care of.

But now, she doesn't really have a choice anymore, does she? There is no not thinking, no not pondering her long-term future.

Palpatine is dead. The Sith are destroyed. The First Order is basically vanquished.

Rey has buried Luke and Leia's lightsabres in the sands of Tatooine. She's put the past to rest, made peace with it…just like Ben once asked her to. That's another thing she shouldn't be doing, is it? Wasting time thinking about him.

Ben Solo was many things, but in the end, the good in him outweighed the bad, despite all the horrors that was put through…the horrors that he brought unto others. He was proof that nobody was ever too far gone, too far gone for redemption. Ben made the right choice, in the end. He gave his life for Rey and then became one with the Force. He found the peace, the balance he sought his whole life.

She should be glad, shouldn't she? Glad for him. She should be selfless, like a Jedi is supposed to be – not possessive, not rancorous, not resentful.

Luke never taught her this, but Leia told her of the old Jedi philosophy. Leia was wary of it, suspicious of a way of life that taught people to trample down their rawest emotions for fear of being overcome by them. Suppressed anxiety, anger, resentment were feelings that would accumulate and, at some point, reach a boiling point. _No emotion is_, she would say, _evil or dark in and of itself. The way you deal with the emotions matters. You can learn from them, let them guide you, use them to teach you empathy. You can also use them as excuse for your own selfishness and lack of self-control. That's up to you, Rey. Just understand one thing: neither extreme is natural for human beings…maybe for no sapient being in the Galaxy. Fear can keep you alive. Fury can give you strength. Grief can help you heal. None of that is bad just for existing_.

Good advice, all of it. Part of Rey would prefer to bury it all, to be honest, would rather stomp everything that may overwhelm her into the ground, would rather not be so driven by raw emotions that they might override her good sense…

…would rather not feel pain.

It's a peculiar feeling, isn't it, deep inside her chest, like a pulsating fever, a second, ailing heartbeat. Doesn't beat in harmony with the rest of her. Doesn't let her find rest in her sleep. Doesn't ever stop.

Doesn't ever stop.

This isn't something that dominates her entire existence, but it is there. It's there constantly and just beats on, pulsates, stings with every breath she takes.

Rey shouldn't be a stranger to grief, seeing as she lost her parents as a small child, but that was never how she chose to see that. No, her parents left for a reason and they would be back someday – of course they would…until it became clear that they wouldn't. By then, she already knew, of course, but she never gave herself the time to actually mourn their loss because she never accepted it as a loss, in the first place.

She couldn't help mourning Han Solo, but that was still in the middle of the war…

…and although she cared because he was kind to her and took her seriously, his son was right about one thing: she projected.

But he killed his father.

His father forgave him.

Rey can feel this, just as she knows that Leia, Luke, and Ben have made peace as they re-joined the Force. She won't mourn Leia or Luke, as their deaths occurred with purpose and peace (and because there's always a reason, isn't there, always a reason to shield herself from pain).

Ben became one with the Force, too.

She watched it happen.

So why doesn't that feel…well, _right_?

Because he was young. Because there is so much more to do, so much damage to repair, so much to build. Because he deserved a second chance.

Because she…well, because she doesn't want him to be dead. Maybe that's selfish. Maybe that's the connection between them, this strong yet broken thing that's now causing her pain she never thought might be real. But that's just another thing, isn't it? For so many years, she told herself that the Force was a myth, that there couldn't be anything mystical about a universe, a life this mundane. Things are what they seem. Luke Skywalker is just a story. Her family will be back. This is life, as she sees it.

Maybe she just always failed at facing facts and kept herself alive by existing in her own little dream world. It really is impressive how a person who has so much time to think keeps running away from herself, isn't it? But there was always _something_ to do, some task to fulfil, some chore to complete, some goal to reach…

…until now.

She's back on the Falcon, sitting in the cockpit, preparing for take-off. That's always more complicated without a co-pilot, but she wanted to make this trip by herself…well, herself and BB-8, of course, who didn't pry or ask uncomfortable questions. How is Rey supposed to answer questions, anyway, if she doesn't even know how to explain her own feelings to herself? She-

The com beeps.

Snapping out of her attempt at not wallowing in self-pity (even though Leia would have told her that it is sometimes healthy to do just that), she presses the right button.

"_Rey? Are you still on Tatooine?_" That's Rose's voice.

The Falcon, old as it is, has hologram projectors. Right now, though, Rey just doesn't want to face anyone. Still, she does her best to sound cheerful as she responds, since Rose doesn't deserve being dragged down. "Yes, but I was just about to leave, head toward you. How is everything going?" With _everything_, she means trying to get representatives from all over the Galaxy to talk to each other on what to do next.

Many people banded together to finally defeat the First Order and Palpatine (the Sith? Did it matter?), but that didn't mean the endorsement of planetary governments or anything. Besides, there were systems that endorsed the First Order, so there is a lot of resentment going on right now. Getting people to talk to each other is hard enough. Maybe expecting the Galaxy to recover from yet another war and be united is too much.

"_It's going…weirdly enough. To tell you the truth, I'm just happy nobody's killed anyone_," Rose says, and utters a nervous little chuckle, "_yet. But we're all working on it. It's complicated_. _Most of us aren't diplomats, but since we headed the fight against the First Order, here we are._"

Rey leans her head back just so she doesn't have to stare at all the sand outside anymore. Looks so much like Jakku, doesn't it? Not a place she wants to go back to, not even in her mind. "What can I do to help?" She presses the heels of her hands to her eyes. It's not like she's in any way a politician, but then again, neither is Rose…or any of them. Still, now that she's done what she came here to do, she has no further task ahead. Besides, not offering to help would be kind of rotten. She wants to do her part, too. It's just…how? There is no war to prepare for, nothing to be fixed, no-one to be saved.

No-one to be saved.

Her mouth goes dry. There's that sting again, deep in her chest. Better to ignore it. Better to pretend nothing's off.

"_Actually, I…yes, but we don't really need you to be here. We were gonna ask you to do something different_."

Something in Rose's voice has Rey sit up straight. "What happened? What's wrong?" There's a pang in her stomach. A chill slithers down her spine. "Is everyone all right?"

There's an exasperated sigh at the other side of the transmission. "_We're all fine. That's not it. I…I don't even know how to broach this, Rey. There's been an odd transmission from the depths of space. A group of people have piped up claiming to be the real heirs of the Jedi. They say they have mastered the will of the Force…and some other really melodramatic stuff. In any case, they demand to be part of whatever new galactic government we all decide on. None of us has time, energy, or resources to deal with yet another group of crazies threatening the peace – feeble as it is – especially if they can use the Force_."

That is…it is…_what_? Her brow furrowed, Rey leans forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. "If this is real, I haven't felt it."

"_Might be a trap. Might be complete nonsense. I have no idea…but you're the only Force sensitive person I know. You're probably stronger than anyone else in that regard, and you've got a star ship_." Where someone else might sound sheepish, Rose sounds almost defiant. Good. The Galaxy needs some grit and willpower right now.

"You think that if it's a trap, I'll be able to sense it and react to it before it's too late." She feels a little lighter now, even smiles a bit. There's still that sting in her chest, but at least she's got something new to focus on – a new task.

Anyone claiming to have full understanding of the Force is obviously either lying or deluded.

Rey hasn't felt any of it, so if this is not a lie, it's definitely something that should be investigated. At least it's something to do – something that needs to be done. Something that might actually matter.

"_Yeah…sorry. But you wouldn't be going alone. Neither Finn nor Poe are any good at diplomacy, it turns out. We've already got the former Stormtrooper slot filled by Jannah, who actually wants to help bring people together_." She pauses for a few seconds.

Outside, wind is pelting the Falcon's hull with fine sand. It'll probably be better to leave orbit before this becomes a full-on sandstorm.

"_Rey?_"

"I'll go. Not a problem. Where do I pick up the others?" She feels her smile broaden. The prospect of a useful mission ahead of her is heartening, to say the least. It would be fine if she were to head wherever these mysterious people are even hiding with nobody but BB-8 for company, but it is also wonderful to have friends like Finn and Poe. "Where am I even going?"

That elicits a snicker from Rose. "_The Unknown Regions, of course, because that's where everything weird happens. I don't know if it's a planet or whatever, but they've sent us coordinates. I'll also patch the transmission through to you_." Sounding a little apprehensive, she adds, "_I know I'm avalanching you with this, but we don't really have anyone who could look into this like you can_."

It's like lead has been lifted from Rey's shoulders. Maybe she'll be so busy, she'll be able to sleep through the night and not wake up exhausted. Maybe. "That's all right. I don't mind."

"_It's probably a hoax, but if not…well, it might be dangerous_. _Might be dangerous, anyway_."

Images of Emperor Palpatine flash before her mind's eye, of how he almost killed all of her friends with nothing but his willpower…his deep connection with the Force.

She channelled the Jedi as he channelled the Sith, and the effort killed both of them. There was no time to come to terms with her own mortality then. She didn't go in peace and become one with the Force.

That was Ben, who gave his life for hers, who went in peace because of this one final, utterly selfless act.

The stinging pain in her chest flares up. Damn it. She tells herself to snap out of it and stop being dramatic. It is what it is, and since there's nothing medically wrong with her, she'll just have to take it like a grownup. "Don't worry," she says, reminding herself that none of this is Rose's fault, so she better keep her grievances to herself. "I can take care of myself."

"_I know you can, but you got the two boys to look out for, too_."

She smiles again, looks out at the building sandstorm. "I'll keep them on the straight and narrow. Just send me all the information you have, and I'll do what I can to find out what's really going on."

"_Will do…and thank you so much for this. It's such a relief, knowing you'll be taking care of this_." With warmth in her voice, Rose adds, "_You and the boys, of course_."

It's nice hearing some good cheer, especially as things are so complicated right now. "Of course. Send me what you've got. Listen, I need to pull into orbit. There's a sandstorm coming, and I want to get the Falcon out before it gets too bad. BB-8 is already getting worried."

From further back, BB-8 chirps his not-too-serious protest.

"_No problem. Take care. I'll send you the data. You can call me once you've sorted everything out_."

"Great. I'll do that. Thank you, Rose." Rey cuts the connection, takes a few deep breaths, and fires up the engine. "Let's get out of this place, BB-8, before our engines get fried."

* * *

**Rey sets the autopilot to keep the ship in orbit before she goes to sleep.** This time, she actually manages to doze off after an hour or so of attempting to meditate – something she never found easy, which is both amusing and exasperating. Quieting one's mind is hard, especially so if there are no other minds around. Perhaps it doesn't work like that for everyone else, but it does work like that for her.

The dream she has is familiar, because when she does get to sleep, she always has it – every time. Ever since the war ended. The fact that she can't remember it when she wakes up just proves to her how stubborn she is. But isn't that the irony of life? When she looks for answers, she either doesn't get them or…

…or gets answers she doesn't want.

This dream, though? This dream is just odd.

She finds herself on that same balcony she's been visiting ever since the war ended, every time she falls asleep. It's part of a big, sleek apartment so high up above ground level, the ground cannot be seen. In fact, this is a huge city, as far as the eye can see, from horizon to horizon: skyscrapers, aircraft, drones, neon lights. Far off, there's a huge, box-like building with white towers topping it, raised on what looks like a gigantic platform.

Rey knows that that is the old Jedi Temple, back before the Galactic Republic became an Empire. She also knows that she's on Coruscant, the old capital planet that is nothing but a big, terrifying city.

This balcony? This apartment? It's where Padmé Amidala used to live – Luke and Leia's mother. She was a senator, representing the idyllic planet Naboo…where Rey's family comes from.

"You keep trying to go back in time, Rey. It won't work."

After staring another few seconds at the dizzying array of movement and light – the sun's just gone down behind the Jedi Temple – she turns around to face a smiling Anakin Skywalker. She just knows it's him – has from the start. "You should know better than to tell me how something's gonna work out. Your son tried, too."

Anakin is standing a little apart, closer to the apartment proper, arms crossed, smiling. He's in an all-black outfit – no surprises, there – and has a small scar next to his right eye. Seems relaxed, doesn't he? Young. Undamaged. Not at all like Darth Vader. "If you're expecting me to explain to you how any of this works exactly…" He trails off, shrugs. "Well, I can't. But what I do know is that you're the one who keeps coming here." His smile broadens. Looks almost like a smirk. "I'm not the one you're looking for, though I guess that for now, it's close enough."

She turns back to look at the city, at the deepening dark of the sky, the increasingly bright artificial lights. "I can't imagine living in a place like this."

"Which is funny, because you and I grew up on very similar planets."

The air – yes, yes, this is a dream and yet, it isn't – is chilly, but she doesn't mind. It was a lot colder in the Jakku desert at night. "I don't know why we keep meeting. I didn't even know you when you were alive. I was born after you died. I've never seen the Jedi Temple, either."

For a few seconds, Anakin looks down at his boots before facing her again. "When you spend years in the clutches of the Dark Side, it's hard to let go…to find peace. My son helped me find my way back to the Light, just as you helped my grandson. But still, it wasn't easy to come to terms with all that I had done afterwards. There is no time where I am, but that doesn't mean that none of the things we did in life matter. They do. I suppose that's something else I have in common with Ben."

Just hearing his name sends a sting through her chest. She tries not to let it show, though her shoulders knot and pain radiates down her back and up her neck. "He went in peace. I saw it."

"He did a selfless thing and gave his life to save yours. But that doesn't mean all the conflict has gone, all the guilt. That's why you haven't found him, in case you were wondering."

She lets her gaze wander across the scenery: the large balcony, the softly billowing curtains, the sleek décor inside. This is a stately apartment and then some – fitting for a former queen. This is a strange impulse that comes and goes in a second, but briefly, she wishes she could have met Padmé Amidala. _Ben had her eyes_, she thinks. It doesn't even matter how she knows this.

"We are somewhat connected through the Force; that's why." The slight smile returns. "You have two options, now, Rey. You can choose to let him go. You can choose to let the loss hit you…to mourn, to accept, to move on. That is a choice, and a good one. You should consider it."

"What's the other option?" She asks this quickly, without hesitation. It's not that she doesn't know the answer…it's that she can't even begin to consider Anakin's suggestion. No. Never done it before, won't start now.

Anakin's smile turns a little weary – knowing, too. This is a person who has seen everything, it feels like, and who's realised that just because he's made all the possible mistakes in life, it doesn't mean he can keep anyone else from repeating them. "Before we talk about that, can you answer me a question? It's kind of personal."

"Why don't you look in my head and find out?"

"No, thank you. The low-key telepathy we've got going right now is more than enough for my taste." Slowly, he ambles over to the semi-circle of upholstered seats to Rey's right and drops himself on one of them. He chins toward the spot opposite himself, but she keeps on her feet. "Anyway, here goes: when did you first start ignoring that you were feeling a pull to the Dark Side?"

Not being one to look away abashed, Rey clenches her hands into fists, instead. "That's none of your business. If you have something to say to me, say it. I don't have time or patience for accusations."

"That defensiveness? I know it very well. I used to be like that. Drove Obi-Wan crazy." He snickers. "He was _not_ prepared to raise a prepubescent little troublemaker like me. He got stuck with me after Qui-Gon died, and he did the best he could…wasn't always right, but he loved me, and despite my teenaged angst and my overblown ego and all my issues, I loved him. But the Jedi were great at ignoring any emotion they deemed negative, so I just tried trampling down all the fear of loss and resentment I felt. I don't need to explain to you why that backfired in the most catastrophic way. Not only did I lose everything, but I also caused so much pain. I hurt everyone I ever loved. I caused Padmé's death. I caused Obi-Wan's death. I did so many terrible things, and most of it because I didn't want to face my own demons. You have the chance to do some good in the universe where so many of us failed. That's part of the reason you've adopted my name – Luke's name. So, let go, Rey. Live through your pain. Admit it. Work through it. Move on. It's the healthiest way."

She just keeps staring at him, back straight, hands balled into fists, jaw set. "What's the other option?"

After giving her a meaningful look, he briefly closes his eyes, breathes deeply, and says, "You already know. If you really want to find him, because that'll keep you from having to face grief, then you can. You know that. It's why you keep nosing around here in your sleep…every time you manage to find deep sleep, that is. And now, this…this transmission from the depths of space has turned up. Here's another thing I shouldn't have to tell you because you already sense it, deep down, even though you've blocked this ability so you can keep yourself from feeling pain. But you know, Rey – you _know_. You can't explain it precisely, which must be a nuisance" – He smirks again, but it isn't obnoxious – "but you _can_ feel it."

This is a dream and yet it isn't. Is that the reason why her mouth is dry, her head light, her stomach churning? "No-one is ever really gone, and I know he's somewhere. Can you tell me how to bring him back?"

Anakin takes his sweet time answering. "Rey, think about this. When I died, I deserved it. I turned back to the Light Side, yes, and I helped Luke with the Emperor, yes."

This isn't something – _someone_ Rey wants to think about. "What you did defeated the Empire. It's a big thing."

"The Empire was defeated by many. Yes, I did something good and died for my troubles, but I had it coming. The price I paid allowed me to go in peace. Reversing this is possible, of course it is for those that are this strong in the Force, but there is a price. There are consequences – the greater the deed, the greater the consequences. You _don't know_ what will happen if you go through with this. My advice? Don't. The Galaxy can heal from these deep wounds. That may not be possible if you do what you're planning to. I can see you've already made up your mind, even though you, in your wakened state, cannot."

"If I go to the source of that transmission…I will be able to bring him back?"

"You shouldn't. It's not right. He went in peace, like you said, because he gave his life for you. That doesn't erase what he's done. It also doesn't change the fact that he's returned to the Force. Mess with that, and the Force will fight back. _There will be consequences_."

Slowly, she shakes her head. Her face feels warm now. Her vision grows blurry. She mops at her eyes with the heels of her hands. "He turned back to the Light. Without him, the Sith would have won. He deserves a life beyond pain and manipulation. He rid himself of all darkness and made the right choice, in the end. I can bring him back. I can _feel_ it."

After giving her another one of those significant looks, Anakin looks out at the city's deepening darkness. "Smells like rain. No trees, but air and rain. The wonders of technology. You know, I'll never get tired of rain: the sound, the smell, the sensation…even the taste. I love rain. I'd quite forgotten what it was like to love anything…or anyone."

She takes a deep, quivering breath. "I haven't."

"I know." Once again, he faces her and smiles. "Don't forget that love can be the catalyst for the steepest falls. I should know."

"That won't happen to me."

"It's what we all think, isn't it?"

"I know." She can feel that this dream-not-dream is coming to an end. "Can you tell me how I can bring him back?"

He shakes his head, defeated. "No. I really don't know more than you do. I do wish you'd listen to me, though."

"I'm glad you've found peace," she says, and briefly inclines her head. "Goodbye, Anakin Skywalker."

Everything gets dark. The dream-not-dream morphs into an actual dream.

Rey sleeps for eight hours without further interruption.

* * *

**She is due to pick up her friends a few days later on Falleen, along the Corellian Run,** in the Mid Rim. It's out of the way, yes, as seen from her starting point, but that doesn't matter. If there's something she's learned over these past few years – these years that have changed everything – it's that being in the company of friends beats the hell out of muddling through by herself. Of course, she can handle herself and has done so for most of her life. Maybe that's why she was so defensive that day she met Finn.

It's not easy, is it? Letting the walls down. Letting anyone get close. Believing in others. Feeling. In such a short time, so much has changed. Just as she once couldn't fathom that there was much green in the Galaxy, she never thought she'd ever meet so many important people – important not just in the war, but to her personally. Only a few years ago, loving anyone seemed like a ridiculous notion. Everything changed since then.

Well, not everything.

She's still terrible at accepting unpleasant truths, it seems. The morning of her departure from Tatooine, when she woke up, she remembered her little talk with Anakin Skywalker perfectly.

_You shouldn't. It's not right. He went in peace, like you said, because he gave his life for you. That doesn't erase what he's done. It also doesn't change the fact that he's returned to the Force. Mess with that, and the Force will fight back. There will be consequences._

As she preps the Falcon for departure, BB-8 chattering excitedly in the back as he checks the secondary systems and reports everything as hunky-dory, she does her best to ignore that nasty, perpetual sting in her chest. The Corellian Run is not a difficult route, especially now that the First Order is gone for good and everyone else is busy licking their wounds.

_You shouldn't. It's not right. _

Straining, she leans to the right and activates the display that monitors the plasma flow.

_The Force will fight back. There will be consequences. _

No. Enough of that. Anakin is entitled to his opinion, of course, but he's wrong here. Just because his time to die came when he saved his son from the Emperor, that doesn't mean this is true for everyone. Besides, why should she grieve if there's a chance she could bring Ben back and give him the chance to make amends? Wouldn't that be even fairer than him simply sacrificing himself for her? Yes, it would. There's no doubt about it. She's doing the right thing. She is.

She is.

_There will be consequences. _

She takes a deep breath, swallows the knot in her throat, says, "Let's go, BB-8," and engages the hyperdrive.


End file.
